Healing parenting for kids with trauma and attachment disorders
What is Therapeutic Parenting?
Therapeutic parenting is a form of parenting used to build or repair a bond with a child who is unattached and who has experienced early life trauma. It is a form of parenting that intentionally responds to a child’s past trauma experiences and intentionally creates an attachment between parent and child while promoting healthy emotional, physical, and mental development.
Therapeutic Practices We Use and Teach at The RADish Ranch
The following practices are the foundation of therapeutic care and the approaches we use and teach. Each child and family receive a tailored approach and program consistent with their needs, setting, and family life.
Felt Safety. Felt Safety is the feeling of safety; not just being told that you are safe, but the feeling that comes with an environment and people that will keep you physically, emotionally, and mentally safe.
We practice this by using line-of-vision supervision and the 6-foot rule (having your child within 6 feet at all times), door alarms on bedroom doors at night, tight structure in all aspects of daily life, and a simplified routine, environment, and schedule.
First Year of Life Attachment Cycle. The four stages of this cycle are: 1. Baby has a need; 2. Baby asks for need to be met (cries); 3. Need is met by caregiver with love and nurturing; 4. Baby develops trust. Children who experienced trauma during their first year of life had this cycle broken and have learned that they must rely on themselves in order to be safe and grow.
We re-do this cycle with children by requiring them to ask for their needs to be met and giving the caregiver the opportunity to say yes, meet the need, and provide love and nurture.
Safety Check Protocol: Brain-based practices to teach adaptive behaviours and promote connection. This program is used to deal with any defiant, destructive, disrespectful, or limit-testing behaviour. It promotes brain growth, self-image, attachment & connection, life skills, and self-esteem.
We use brain shifters to help the child think more clearly – jumping jacks, brain jumps, brain boosters, strong sitting (yoga-like mindfulness pose), and mini-trampoline jumping. We teach the child to take responsibility for their actions and give back with an act of kindness to the person they have been defiant, destructive, or disrespectful to.
Play and Connection. Play and connection are absolutely necessary for a child to heal, attach, and thrive. It is a big part of our work with children with RAD and their parents.
We teach Theraplay techniques to parents to use during connection time with their child.
We use and teach Bruce Perry’s 6R program to promote connection, attachment, and brain growth.
We teach parents to implement daily snuggle time: a time when parents rock their child, sing them songs or tell stories, and feed them sweet milk treats. It is a time of heart-to-heart connection that is imperative to healing.
We use and teach a daily structured playtime for the child to promote brain development, Felt Safety, body control, and imagination.
We teach and encourage 12 hugs a day from parent to child to promote connection, healing, acceptance, and bonding.
Holistic care. Holistic care is practiced in two ways:
1. Holistic care of the whole family: each member of the family (parents, healthy siblings, children with RAD/DTD) must be cared for and treatment and supports must be available for each person.
2. Holistic care of the whole person: the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual needs of each family member must be addressed and met.
Without whole, holistic care, families are unable to maintain the high levels of safety, structure, and nurture that are required for therapeutic parenting.
The 3 Jobs of Parents. “A parent’s job is to love their child, keep them safe, and teach them about life.”
We have parents model this with empathy and connection, and firm, consistent boundaries.
The 6 Jobs of Strong Kids. “My job is to be respectful, responsible, and fun to be around, and to do my chores and work fast and snappy, right the first time, the adult’s way.”
Children are instructed in these 6 Jobs in all aspects of life; being respectful to adults, peers, property, and settings; being responsible for hygiene, chores, schoolwork, and belongings; being fun to be around by sharing, being kind, and showing empathy and compassion to others; and by doing their chores, jobs, and/or work fast and snappy, right the first time, the adult’s way to prepare them for school, the work force, and future relationships.
Five Things a Child is in Charge Of. “I am in charge of my brain, my feelings, my strong, my thoughts, and my 6 Jobs.”
Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder feel the need to be in charge of everything and everyone in order to be ‘safe’, however, in order to heal they need a loving caregiver to be in charge of them and their surroundings. We teach children the 5 areas in which they need to gain self-control in before their brains will be strong enough and ready to make bigger choices and be in charge of decision making.
Watch these interviews that explains parts of therapeutic parenting and trauma-responsive therapeutic care!
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world” Anne Frank